Though I am not the Queen of England, I drink tea every now and then. Today, I happened to set aside a tea time with my Examined Life First Year Seminar professor, and even though I am now a sophomore, I still sat with him to do the very thing we sought to do throughout that first year course: to examine my life.
Transitions are always hard, and to be honest, up until now I haven't been coping well with being a sophomore. I had so many convictions my freshman year about who I wanted to be, and what was right and wrong. I thought I knew so much about the world and about myself. This semester, I realized I don't know what I know.
It's an odd feeling, because then you have to figure out who you are from scratch. As a freshman, I relied so much on my intellect and my independence to make me happy, but coming in as a sophomore, I started to recognize some changes in myself. My social interactions started to change, as I started to rely on my sense of humor in showing people who I really am, rather than just presenting them with this image of who I thought I was supposed to be (which was pretty much the whole smart, successful, independent spiel. All good things, but not a complete picture).
Luckily, I am definitely not alone in this journey of figuring out who I am. Not at St. Mike's. Over tea and conversation, my seminar professor was very supportive of the "new me", or at least, the process of discovering a "new me". We both agreed that questioning yourself is a way to grow. It's exciting and it's freeing, because you no longer have to be confined to who you thought you were or who you thought you were supposed to be. You're finally free. Free to choose who you are and how you want to live your life.
I thought this blog might be helpful to those of you who have made a major (or minor) transition, whether it be your first year at St. Mike's, your last year of high school, or simply your transition into your sophomore, junior, or senior year. Wherever you are in your life, you should know that what you are doing is a good thing. It's okay to admit that maybe, just maybe, you were wrong. And it's okay to start from scratch, to wipe an old palette clean. This world is a wonderful, confusing place, and the only way to really appreciate it is if you really consider how you want to live in it.
St. Mike's has such a wonderful, supportive community, and I am so glad I have people like my First Year Seminar professor to put me in perspective and assist me on my journey. You can always find someone to talk things out with. So go on! Grab a friend, a professor, or even me! My door is always open, and I am just a tweet/email/holler-if-you-must away! Just remember to be patient with yourself during this time and appreciate the mystery! :)
“The unexamined life is not worth living” - Socrates
